hoosierbitch: (Default)
2014-05-12 08:29 pm

i could probably be more boring if i tried

Today was a therapy day. Therapist was a bit hippy-dippy today, very “Trust that the universe will unfold the way it’s supposed to!” but also we talked a lot about not living our lives based on what society and other people THINK we should be doing, and instead be ok with ourselves the way we are.

I have an MFA in a field that I don’t think I want to be involved in. Today’s revelation: Maybe it’s not that I’m a failure at it, maybe it’s just not something I can do while maintaining a happy and healthy life for myself outside of that work.

I could very happily do administrative-type work the rest of my life. The fact that I’m currently holding down a job, walking my dog twice a day (almost every day, I’ve been getting SO MUCH BETTER), working on sorting my bipolar meds, and talking to my happy therapy lady who’s a hippy but maybe not wrong, is good. My dad said he was proud of me the last time I was home, which. Well. My dad says “I love you” a lot, mostly scrawled on postcards, but the fact that he’s proud of me for getting through this first year in MN where I’m still mostly friendless, working a part-time job, and taking each day at a time—means a fuck of a lot.

I was just raised to believe that you should give as much as you have, and do as much for your community as you can, and so the fact that for the past year I’ve been mostly focussing on keeping myself above water is not in my life-plan. The fact that this coming year might follow the same pattern makes me feel terrible, and guilty, because if I’m not doing good things for other people, what the hell good am I?

After therapy I went to a bakery and bought two cupcakes.

They are gone now.

Tomorrow morning I’ll probably go out for huevoes rancheros because my brain is rly fucking confused and comfort food helps.

hoosierbitch: (Default)
2014-04-30 07:16 pm


So, for May, I am giving myself a pass.

I don’t have to write anything.
I don’t have to respond to any comments. 
I don’t have to keep up with everyone’s LJs/DWs/tumblrs/twitters.

I want fandom and writing to be a source of joy, not stress, and I’ve made it into something I HAVE to do instead of letting it be something I WANT to do.

So: I may see you periodically over the next couple of weeks. I may not. But I’ll for sure see you June 1st.

Love love love,

hoosierbitch: (BTVS Silly Funny Kink Romance Anya "Let')
2014-03-29 06:59 pm

Fic: A New Ritual [Teen Wolf, NC-17, Sterek, Knotting!Kink]

Title: A New Ritual
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Stiles/Derek
Content Advisory: Uh. Knotting. Rimming. Rimming with half-shifted wolf tongue, because, uh, it'd be long and flexible and strong and I know I'm going to hell but whatever Stiles is going there with me.
Notes: This is entirely the fault of [personal profile] rabidchild67, who, on a day when I was whining because I didn’t know what to write, said “Knotting porn!” And then came weeks of me agonizing over whether there were too many feelings, or not enough feelings, or if the feelings were in the right place, or how many times I should make Stiles come. GODDAMNIT RC. (Also inspired by this post on tumblr.)
Spoilers: This is basically in a canonless universe. A vague reference to the Darach. That's it.
Thanks: Thanks to [personal profile] shadowen for the wonderful beta, who made this part so much better (any remaining mistakes are completely mine). Also thanks to [livejournal.com profile] ivorysilk for putting up with my fail!flail.

Summary: They don't know what it means, but they know that it feels right.


Read more... )
hoosierbitch: (BTVS Silly Funny Kink Romance Anya "Let')
2014-03-18 11:44 pm

book recs?

I haven't been reading much lately (well, of the non-internet variety) and I'd like to do more. I have intermittent periods of really long down time at work that I could fill up with reading. But I feel like a runner prepping for a marathon--like, "Great Expectations" was unexpectedly hilarious but scattered, "Wuthering Heights" was scary but not a good book to read while being often interrupted, "Hawkeye: Little Hits" was adorable but v. short.


The book I just finished was "Unspoken" by Sarah Rees Brennan. It's part of a trilogy, I've got #2 on the way through ILL. It's a teen gothic romance mystery novel type thing? Only really good. Her last trilogy, "Demon's Lexicon," was a rollercoaster of awesome, and I loved it.


I LIKE:sci-fi/fantasty (including urban fastasy)/Young Adult is fine/and not-sad-fiction. Preferably by female writers. I like Patricia McKillip, Robin McKinley, Terry Pratchett, Mercedes Lackey, Tamora Piece, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tanya Huff.

Are there any books that are top of your list that you'd recommend for right now, or that you think I should stick on my goodreads for later?


Uh, returning the love, my fave books:
1) Woman on the Edge of Time by Marge Piercy
2) The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russel
hoosierbitch: (Default)
2014-03-09 03:31 pm

fic: made this place a home [avengers, dyslexia 'verse finale]

Title: made this place a home
Fandom: Avengers
Series: Dyslexia 'verse (Comprehensive links at the end!)
Rating: R
Pairing: Clint/Coulson
Content Advisory: Clint dealing with grief and dyslexia (and some self-esteem issues about the dyslexia).
Notes: I can't believe this is actually finished. There may be filler parts later, or timestamps (I am working on an "Each Avenger Finds Out About Clint's Dyslexia" fic), but this is the end of the main arc. It's been over a year. Wow. If anyone ever wants to play in this ‘verse (like the lovely [personal profile] arsenicjade has) you are more than welcome.
Spoilers: This matches canon up to the Marvel: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D premiere, and has spoilers for the first episode.
Thanks: Thanks to [personal profile] miriad for the wonderful beta, who made this part so much better (any remaining mistakes are completely mine). And thank you to everyone who's read this series and supported me through this process. It's been a crazy ride.

Summary: Coulson comes back from the dead. Clint's not sure how he feels about that.


Clint goes to the doorway, his arrow aimed at heart-level, and sees Phil leaning against his desk. )

Thank you for reading.

This part:

Entire series:
hoosierbitch: (Default)
2014-02-22 11:31 pm

fic: problem child [teen!clint, avengers, r]

Title: Probem Child
Fandom: Avengers
Series: Unpaved Road of Good Intentions [1/?]
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Slow-build Clint/Coulson, eventually Natasha plays a big part in the series.
Content Advisory: Explicit reference to past physical and sexual abuse in Clint's past. There's an age discrepancy between Clint and Coulson, as well as a power imbalance. If you'd like more specific information, or you think there's something I forgot to warn for, please let me know what I can do.
Notes: This was written for the kidficstory big bang. knowmefirst has made an AWESOME banner for it, that I have tried and failed to post three times with it so far--I'll get it up tomorrow when I'm on a library computer instead of a tablet!
Thanks: Thanks to miriad for the amazing beta, ivorysilk for the cheerleading, and arsenicjade for sharing the exact same Clint!feels. <3

Summary: Coulson wasn't born the bad-ass in the business suit. Hawkeye didn't start out as the trusted eye in the sky. This is the story about how SHIELD grew up, and how Coulson and Clint grew together right alongside it.

The teenager that they lead into the holding room is grinning at him. It would be less discouraging if his teeth weren’t covered in blood. The guards cuff the kid’s hands to the table and his ankles to the chair. They don’t undo the chain around his waist that ties the whole mess together, so he’s hunched over and jangles every time he moves. )*

I also have a tumblr now!
hoosierbitch: (Default)
2014-02-17 01:01 pm

fic: nerds are sexy (and so are orgasms) [teen wolf, nc-17. part 3/?]

Title: nerds are sexy (and so are orgasms)
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Series: trust and consequences
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Derek/Stiles
Content Advisory: Stiles is 17. Eventual D/s. Discussion of body issue images resulting from Derek's relationship with Kate.

Summary: Stiles and Derek have a problem. Stiles is going to get to Derek's dick via research.

He organizes his piles of papers. He's going to do this. (And then, hopefully, they're going to do it, with 'it' being a mutually satisfying sexual experience.) )

Feedback is appreciated! (This is it for today, but there's more written in the series already.)

I also have a tumblr now!
hoosierbitch: (Default)
2014-02-17 12:50 pm

fic: unfamiliar things [teen wolf, nc-17. part 2/?]

Title: unfamiliar things
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Series: trust and consequences
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Derek/Stiles
Content Advisory: Stiles is 17. Eventual D/s. References to Derek's unhealthy past relationship with Kate.

Summary: Stiles hangs around after they finish up, giving Scott a flimsy excuse about looking up some Hale family talismans with Derek. It's an obvious lie, but Scott just glances between the two of them, exchanges a separate glance with Stiles, and leads the rest of the pack out.

Scott's trust is an unfamiliar thing. )

I also have a tumblr now!

Feedback is appreciated.
hoosierbitch: (Default)
2014-02-17 12:43 pm

fic: take care, take care, take care [teen wolf, nc-17, 1/?]

Title: take care, take care, take care
Series: Trust and Consequences
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Derek/Stiles
Content Advisory: Stiles is 17, eventually D/s elements to their relationship.
Notes: Title is taken from an Explosions in the Sky song.

Summary: Derek takes care of Stiles as much as he can.

Stiles has been looking pale lately. )
hoosierbitch: (Default)
2014-01-30 03:50 pm

Fic: Single Parent, Multiple Problems [Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, PG-13]

Title: Single Parent, Multiple Problems
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Derek/Stiles from the Sheriff's POV.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: This is kind of mid-season 2? Erica and Boyd are alive, but Melissa and John know about werewolves. Also, I went with 'John' as a first name, because it's pretty impossible to write from the pov of someone with no first name.
Thanks: Y'all. You don't even understand. This fic is 217% better than it was before my betas got their hands on it. It has scene set-ups and commas and the correct spelling of Camaro and EVERYTHING. Thank you so much, [personal profile] miriad and The Beta Who Shall Not Be Named (...because she has no LJ). You are amazing. Any mistakes left are completely my fault.

Summary: Derek tries really hard to do the right thing, Stiles thinks Derek's idea of the right thing is the wrong thing, and John does his best to help.


"Is, uh--is Stiles home?" Hale is staring at the ground and his shoulders are so tense that John's tempted to say 'Boo!' just to see what'll happen. )


If you have the time, feedback is really appreciated!

I can also be found on livejournal, AO3, and tumblr.
hoosierbitch: (FNL funny This icon is at the game)
2014-01-29 10:25 am

i just quit my job

I just e-mailed in my letter of resignation.

I'm now working only one part-time job. This is the least I've worked since...May, I think? Not counting the beginning of January, when I was bedridden with the sciatica/back pain from the herniated disc. It's so much better, but acts up if I sit for too long, or sit in bad chairs. (WHICH, ALSO, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SHITTY CHAIRS IN THE WORLD? Shouldn't we have figured out CHAIRS by now? Jeez.)

I have enough money to make February's rent. And my folks will help me out if I can't make March's. I've had really good luck getting jobs so far (I apply like a fiend and I interview well). Hopefully I'll find something good by mid-February. That's my yay!plan. My back-up plan, if all else fails, is to move to St. Louis, where my parents have an empty floor in their house, and will trade me walking their three ridiculous dogs twice a day for rent money.

Since I've been in school for so many years, and moved around so much, this is only the second time I've had to quit a job for a reason other than "Soon, I will be in a different state!"

I'm going to go bury my stress in coffee and teen!Clint meeting teen!Natasha, then proudly bringing her back to Coulson like a cat leaving a mouse on the doorstep. "LOOK WHAT I BRUNG YOU! Whoops it's still alive and has claws and teeth. I LOVE IT EVEN MORE PLEASE CAN WE KEEP IT?"
hoosierbitch: (Middleman Funny Silly OMG "Hang GASP!")
2014-01-27 01:31 pm

Pay attention, Potter.

I have been having a crazy productive few days, and have finished and/or written four fics that need beta'ing before posting. When I have too many fics in my "To Post" mental file, I have a hard time focusing on new stuff. IDK, does anyone else feel that way?

Things I need betas for:

1) 2,700 word "Clint safewords" fic
2) 12,000 word Pepper/Steve/Tony fic
3) 2,000 word dyslexic!Clint COULSON LIVES finale
4) 4,200 word Teen Wolf Sheriff POV of developing Sterek.

Any volunteers? You can comment here, PM me, or shoot me an email at whoisyourb@gmail.com.

In other news: MN is so cold that the weather warning is basically, "GO OUTSIDE AND YOUR FACE WILL FREEZE OFF." I get that the National Weather Service is giving us important information, and that they need the general public to take it seriously, but they always put their releases in capslock which makes me feel like a drill sergeant is yelling at me.


From now on, in my head, I'm going to pretend it's Professor Snape reading it to Harry Potter. "This will result in...frost bite. And lead to hypothermia, or," raised eyebrow, "death. If...precautions...are not taken. Now open your books to page 394."
hoosierbitch: can't remember! (hands)
2014-01-26 09:01 am

fic: abel had it easy [avengers, dyslexia!verse, pg-13)

Title: Abel Had It Easy
Fandom: Avengers
Series: Dyslexia!Verse. Chronologically this comes first, but it also works fine as a standalone.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Child abuse and neglect, minor canon character violence and deaths (not Coulson’s!), and a character with dyslexia being treated insensitively. If you need more information about potential triggers, please PM me and I’ll be happy to help.
Pairing: Gen (later in the ‘verse, Clint/Coulson)
Notes: This is Barney’s side of the backstory, drawing heavily from Jim McCann’s series, Hawkeye: Blindspot, where he makes all the abusive backstory canon.

Summary: A lot of Barney’s stories started pretty much the same way. Dad was drunk, and then… And then, and then, and then.

“You learn also that life has a sick sense of humor. Everything it gives you can explode in your face. And like that, you learn you can be orphaned, over and over again.”
—Clint, from Hawkeye: Blindspot

Dad was drunk. )

You can also find me on tumblr.
hoosierbitch: can't remember! (hands)
2014-01-24 05:28 pm

fic: gravedigger [teen wolf, eventual derek/stiles, pg-13]

This is just part of what I think will turn into a longer Derek/Stiles fic.

Also, WHY IS THERE NO TEEN WOLF KINK MEME? That's always how I find my groove in new fandoms. I AM SO LOST. Prompt me? I have many Derek feels. And Stiles feels. And Derek-damaged-by-Kate feels. And a weird love for Tyler Hoechlin's smile, which, if Derek ever smiled like that, I think the show would combust and die.

hoosierbitch: (Default)
2013-11-08 07:40 pm

fic: the new millennia [avengers, thor/jane]

Title: the new millenia
Fandom: Avengers
Spoilers: Major Thor 2 spoilers!
Pairing: Jane/Thor
Rating: PG
Notes: I saw the movie today and the first line of this fic got stuck in my head and wouldn’t leave.

Summary: Thor's life is measured in centuries, not days. 


Thor had loved his brother for more than a thousand years.  )
hoosierbitch: (Psych Funny Silly "T-Rex! Lookit my litt)
2013-10-28 10:15 pm

five times meme

Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] daria234, who nabbed it from [personal profile] rabidchild67, who got it from [personal profile] frith_in_thorns. This meme is like a cold that won't go away...

You post a topic, list, category, whatever, in comments. (Examples: "Five Dates X Regretted Going On," or "Five Things Y Has On His Shelf", etc.) I'll answer with a list of five things.

Fandoms I know enough to write in: White Collar, Avengers, Leverage, Chuck, Sky High, Star Trek Reboot, the Valdemar book series, maybe others (just ask!).

Disclaimer: I may not finish every response, but I will do my best! ♥
hoosierbitch: (Default)
2013-10-25 08:15 am

fic: you don't know me [white collar, pg-13, run_the_con]

Title: you don't know me
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: White Collar
Notes: Written for run_the_con, the prompt "You don't know me." I'm really clever at titles...

Summary: Neal doesn't know a lot of things. 

find out more )
hoosierbitch: (Default)
2013-08-27 05:24 am


So my life's been pretty crazy lately--I'm working a full-time job at a call center (it's all incoming calls, mostly pretending to be a receptionist and scheduling appointments and taking messages). It's about as good as a call center job can be, but it still makes my brain sad. On top of that I'm working a part time job two-three nights a week--that one's actually making outbound "Gimme money?" calls, but it's working at a theatre that I love, with really nice coworkers and a lovely bossman.

Then I went to Canada for basically an entire week, because I want [livejournal.com profile] ivorysilk to gay-Canadian-marry me so that I can move to Toronto and live in the basement with her bunnies. Although soon I will not want to kidnap her bunnies quite as badly, because...

I'MMA GETTIN' A DOOOOOOOOOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm picking him up this afternoon and I need name help. I was thinking Fez (because, as all Whovians know, Fezes are cool) but I don't want people thinking I named him after the guy in That 70's Show. 

I'mma put a poll in the LJ post. Because of decisions are hard. O.o
hoosierbitch: can't remember! (hands)
2013-07-14 12:26 pm

fic: fucked up the first time [avengers, pepper/steve/tony, R, part 2/?]

Title: Fucked Up the First Time
Series: Part 2 of Unconventional Geometry
Fandom: Avengers Movie!verse
Rating: R, although it'll be NC-17 eventually.
Pairing: Pepper/Tony leading into Pepper/Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson/Natasha
Word Count: 3,300
Warnings/Content Advisory: References to neglectful/alcoholic parenting and prior torture, but nothing outside of movie canon.
Notes: I'm posting this as a WIP on my DW/LJ, anticipating that I might need to make changes to it once I finish. When it's complete, I'll post it to AO3. It's just easier to keep going if I make the parts that are finished a little more official, and a little less intimidating.

Summary: Sometimes it's easier to say no than yes.


Tony does not go to dinner. )
hoosierbitch: (FNL Threat "Lyla will use you for target)
2013-07-07 06:22 pm

please no



please stop making those terrible noises.