I kinda feel like I need to read this at least 3 times before I am able to make a coherent comment...
I love Neal's backstory of course -- that Moz didn't have sex with him and that when he did with Kate it actually meant something to him!
I love that Neal has this empty space where Peter used to be and he's lonely and misses that even if it had the bad parts attached it still had good parts too. I like that Neal initiated everything and that Peter actually accepted and took him at his word.
That Neal wants to reclaim not only Peter but a part of HIMSELF is so huge here -- this line in particular he wants to reclaim not only his right to pleasure he wants to reclaim Peter.
The list of things he doesn't like -- that he images telling Peter the stories... O_O that was so heart wrenching and so plainly spoken and true and just... gah... Peter never asks Neal to explain the things he doesn't want to do, and because of that, Neal thinks one day, maybe, he'll be able to tell him.
I hope that Peter didn't ask out of respect for Neal and not out of cowardice for not being able to face the stories... I'm going to give Peter the benefit of the doubt :) that he's learned some emotional skills with Neal after the clusterfuck of before.
Then then... I mean I know you said they were arguing...but but that's not arguing that's Neal in a RAGE and I *LOVED IT*... god the visceral raw feeling of it all -- how Neal finally felt safe enough and enough space to begin to process a tiny portion of his emotions he's had to keep bottled up for so long... I mean here he finally has someone (that is SAFE) to unleash all the rage and pain he's felt over the past 4 years and maybe even before that for how people have always used him and he always smooths it over. I love that he thought about smoothing and actively chose NOT to smooth and GAH THE GROWTH :D
THIS He feels exhausted, and petty, and dangerous.
And all this time -- I was wondering where Moz was...what he was thinking about that clusterfuck of Peter and Neal and here we see him-- arrived like the calvary - like before in Neal's life to clean up the mess and help :) and god that he'd cleaned up and is just sitting there waiting... not NEEDING anything just there for Neal it's so beautiful O_O
Gah like I said... I want to go back and reread the whole series O_O and gush more!!!
You already know how amazing, wonderful, and awesome you are but girl I think you are outdoing your already lofty heights with this one O_O
*HUGS* Congratulations - this is something to truly be proud of!
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I love Neal's backstory of course -- that Moz didn't have sex with him and that when he did with Kate it actually meant something to him!
I love that Neal has this empty space where Peter used to be and he's lonely and misses that even if it had the bad parts attached it still had good parts too. I like that Neal initiated everything and that Peter actually accepted and took him at his word.
That Neal wants to reclaim not only Peter but a part of HIMSELF is so huge here -- this line in particular he wants to reclaim not only his right to pleasure he wants to reclaim Peter.
The list of things he doesn't like -- that he images telling Peter the stories... O_O that was so heart wrenching and so plainly spoken and true and just... gah...
Peter never asks Neal to explain the things he doesn't want to do, and because of that, Neal thinks one day, maybe, he'll be able to tell him.
I hope that Peter didn't ask out of respect for Neal and not out of cowardice for not being able to face the stories... I'm going to give Peter the benefit of the doubt :) that he's learned some emotional skills with Neal after the clusterfuck of before.
Then then... I mean I know you said they were arguing...but but that's not arguing that's Neal in a RAGE and I *LOVED IT*... god the visceral raw feeling of it all -- how Neal finally felt safe enough and enough space to begin to process a tiny portion of his emotions he's had to keep bottled up for so long... I mean here he finally has someone (that is SAFE) to unleash all the rage and pain he's felt over the past 4 years and maybe even before that for how people have always used him and he always smooths it over. I love that he thought about smoothing and actively chose NOT to smooth and GAH THE GROWTH :D
THIS He feels exhausted, and petty, and dangerous.
And all this time -- I was wondering where Moz was...what he was thinking about that clusterfuck of Peter and Neal and here we see him-- arrived like the calvary - like before in Neal's life to clean up the mess and help :) and god that he'd cleaned up and is just sitting there waiting... not NEEDING anything just there for Neal it's so beautiful O_O
Gah like I said... I want to go back and reread the whole series O_O and gush more!!!
You already know how amazing, wonderful, and awesome you are but girl I think you are outdoing your already lofty heights with this one O_O
*HUGS* Congratulations - this is something to truly be proud of!