It's that time again...
Jun. 1st, 2010 09:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hoosierbitchDid anyone else here ever listen to Boomerang Radio? They had a segment called Weird Words, and every time I hear: "do you know what time it is?" I want to answer: "It's time for WEIRD WORDS!"
Anyhow.
So, it's that time of the month again. Which means my back hurts and I spent the weekend PMSing, sitting on a couch curled into a tiny ball (which is v. hard to do, I am not a small person).
The WORST thing right now is that my acid reflux is acting up, too, so I CANNOT EVEN ENJOY CHOCOLATE. Sometimes my body is just cruel.
I don't have cramps yet, though, but I have porn at-the-ready for when they hit (themkshrine, I AM LOOKING AT YOUR LJ).
*sigh*
So. I'm kind of in a bit of a slump. I'm not very good at handling big changes in my life, and I'm even worse at waiting, so going to grad school in three months has me in a semi-constant state of worry. Not about anything in particular (well, except for not having a place to live yet, but hopefully that'll be sorted soon). Just general I-don't-know-what's-coming nerves. And I'm trying to be careful with myself and not dwell on it and keep myself occupied, because that kind of thing can so easily spin into depression. And most of the time I'm doing okay. I've got work, which is fun, and good friends, and new TV shows to watch. I'm most of the way through The Big Bang Theory, and starting Season 3 of Dexter - and then I'mma watch Breaking Bad, which I've heard wonderful things about. Just - some days suck worse than others, so if I drop out of contact or miss commenting on a post that I normally would have commented on, I apologize.
As far as writing goes - I'm 10k into a story that I've started to hate again (I'll get over it and edit like a madwoman and write the rest of it at some point this summer, but right now looking at it makes me wince). I seem to have lost a bit of my porn-fu, BUT, I signed up for kink bingo, so (as I am in some areas of my life v. competitive) there will be much porn. I WANT TO WRITE FOR ALL OF THE SQUARES. Which means that I'm going to be tackling a new kink. Plushy/furry. Which isn't currently a kink of mine, but then, gun-play wasn't, either, until I wrote it. Or watersports, for that matter.
I'm thinking Bradly/Colin. Colin's going to be something purple. Bradley, obviously something in a gold/yellow. Don't worry, friends. SECRETLY, IT WILL BE ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE. AND ALSO, YIFFING. \o/
Huh. It feels weird having no interactive part of a post. Like, I've got no questions or recs or polls or anything. I just kinda felt like talking about myself.
Er. Sorry?
OH HEY WAIT OKAY - I FOUND THIS! HERE HAVE SOME PORN:
By the time he wakes up Neal’s already crouched between El’s legs, his face buried in her cunt. He kisses her good morning and she laughs, already breathless, when he caresses her breasts. “How’s our boy doing?” he asks, and she sighs.
“Wonderfully. Not quite enough tongue – ” she loses her composure for a second, a small grunt and a crease between her eyebrows when Neal corrects his technique. “Not so fast,” she says, and Neal whimpers.
“Hurry up,” he orders Neal, slapping him on the back of the head. “You need to finish me off, too, and we don't have all day.” He strokes his morning wood and watches his partner lick his wife’s cunt until she comes, moaning happily. She strokes his hair afterwards, as he laps slowly at her cunt, licking her clean. She calls him a good boy and they both watch him shudder, pressing his hips against the bedspread.
He hesitates before sucking Peter’s dick like he does every morning. As if he still can’t believe that Peter's not going to deny him the opportunity.
It makes Peter angry. Angry that Neal doesn't trust him. Angry that Neal's been hurt so bad in the past that he can't trust, not without being convinced anew every time they fuck. He grabs a handful of Neal’s hair, messy and tangled, and yanks him to where he wants him. Right in front of his dick.
Neal looks at him the entire time. Licks his lips nervously until Peter presses them, spit-slick, against the head of his cock. Then Neal closes his eyes and opens his mouth and sucks every inch of cock that Peter feeds him. Desperately grateful every morning that Peter still wants him.
“Stop,” he says, and Neal freezes – his mouth stretched around the shaft of Peter’s dick, eyes watering because he’s deep in Neal’s throat, now, and Neal’s got blowjobs down to an artform but he still can’t breathe with Peter’s dick blocking his airways. “Don't want to come yet. I want to fuck you first,” he says. Because Neal seems just a bit shakier than normal. A good fuck will hold him over until the evening.
“You like being my boy, don’t you?” Neal flushes violently, but doesn’t look away. Peter runs his fingers across his cheek. Feels the hot rush of blood under Neal’s skin. He looks gorgeous when he's ashamed of his own pleasure.
I dunno where that came from, or what I intended for it to be. O.o RANDOM PORN FTW!
Anyhow.
So, it's that time of the month again. Which means my back hurts and I spent the weekend PMSing, sitting on a couch curled into a tiny ball (which is v. hard to do, I am not a small person).
The WORST thing right now is that my acid reflux is acting up, too, so I CANNOT EVEN ENJOY CHOCOLATE. Sometimes my body is just cruel.
I don't have cramps yet, though, but I have porn at-the-ready for when they hit (themkshrine, I AM LOOKING AT YOUR LJ).
*sigh*
So. I'm kind of in a bit of a slump. I'm not very good at handling big changes in my life, and I'm even worse at waiting, so going to grad school in three months has me in a semi-constant state of worry. Not about anything in particular (well, except for not having a place to live yet, but hopefully that'll be sorted soon). Just general I-don't-know-what's-coming nerves. And I'm trying to be careful with myself and not dwell on it and keep myself occupied, because that kind of thing can so easily spin into depression. And most of the time I'm doing okay. I've got work, which is fun, and good friends, and new TV shows to watch. I'm most of the way through The Big Bang Theory, and starting Season 3 of Dexter - and then I'mma watch Breaking Bad, which I've heard wonderful things about. Just - some days suck worse than others, so if I drop out of contact or miss commenting on a post that I normally would have commented on, I apologize.
As far as writing goes - I'm 10k into a story that I've started to hate again (I'll get over it and edit like a madwoman and write the rest of it at some point this summer, but right now looking at it makes me wince). I seem to have lost a bit of my porn-fu, BUT, I signed up for kink bingo, so (as I am in some areas of my life v. competitive) there will be much porn. I WANT TO WRITE FOR ALL OF THE SQUARES. Which means that I'm going to be tackling a new kink. Plushy/furry. Which isn't currently a kink of mine, but then, gun-play wasn't, either, until I wrote it. Or watersports, for that matter.
I'm thinking Bradly/Colin. Colin's going to be something purple. Bradley, obviously something in a gold/yellow. Don't worry, friends. SECRETLY, IT WILL BE ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE. AND ALSO, YIFFING. \o/
Huh. It feels weird having no interactive part of a post. Like, I've got no questions or recs or polls or anything. I just kinda felt like talking about myself.
Er. Sorry?
OH HEY WAIT OKAY - I FOUND THIS! HERE HAVE SOME PORN:
By the time he wakes up Neal’s already crouched between El’s legs, his face buried in her cunt. He kisses her good morning and she laughs, already breathless, when he caresses her breasts. “How’s our boy doing?” he asks, and she sighs.
“Wonderfully. Not quite enough tongue – ” she loses her composure for a second, a small grunt and a crease between her eyebrows when Neal corrects his technique. “Not so fast,” she says, and Neal whimpers.
“Hurry up,” he orders Neal, slapping him on the back of the head. “You need to finish me off, too, and we don't have all day.” He strokes his morning wood and watches his partner lick his wife’s cunt until she comes, moaning happily. She strokes his hair afterwards, as he laps slowly at her cunt, licking her clean. She calls him a good boy and they both watch him shudder, pressing his hips against the bedspread.
He hesitates before sucking Peter’s dick like he does every morning. As if he still can’t believe that Peter's not going to deny him the opportunity.
It makes Peter angry. Angry that Neal doesn't trust him. Angry that Neal's been hurt so bad in the past that he can't trust, not without being convinced anew every time they fuck. He grabs a handful of Neal’s hair, messy and tangled, and yanks him to where he wants him. Right in front of his dick.
Neal looks at him the entire time. Licks his lips nervously until Peter presses them, spit-slick, against the head of his cock. Then Neal closes his eyes and opens his mouth and sucks every inch of cock that Peter feeds him. Desperately grateful every morning that Peter still wants him.
“Stop,” he says, and Neal freezes – his mouth stretched around the shaft of Peter’s dick, eyes watering because he’s deep in Neal’s throat, now, and Neal’s got blowjobs down to an artform but he still can’t breathe with Peter’s dick blocking his airways. “Don't want to come yet. I want to fuck you first,” he says. Because Neal seems just a bit shakier than normal. A good fuck will hold him over until the evening.
“You like being my boy, don’t you?” Neal flushes violently, but doesn’t look away. Peter runs his fingers across his cheek. Feels the hot rush of blood under Neal’s skin. He looks gorgeous when he's ashamed of his own pleasure.
I dunno where that came from, or what I intended for it to be. O.o RANDOM PORN FTW!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:16 am (UTC):) I have faith your writing will bounce back - it always does :D
The porny bits there -- OMG O_O How do you tell so much in so few words?!?!!
He looks gorgeous when he's ashamed of his own pleasure.
There should be thousands of words dedicated to this idea <3 it is so beautiful and you bring that theme to a lot of your stories :D it never gets old <3
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:19 am (UTC){{{Ash}}}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:32 am (UTC)I always know my first comments are going to be from you two.
*loves you both*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:50 am (UTC)I have you know I had only just gotten on lj as she posted this so it was serendipity this time ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 05:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:28 am (UTC)But Surreal, this? >>Willie Garson plays a furry. He's a purple cat in a bikini called "Sexy"<<
OMFGLMELAO, are you KIDDING ME??? :-D <3 :-D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:58 am (UTC)There is his furry personality.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-03 04:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:33 am (UTC)I <3 random porny bits. I just have next-to-no memory of writing this, except that I remembered being frustrated with the structuring in a few of the sentences, and having tense issues. I think mebbe I've been porn-walking. Er. Sleep-porning?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:19 am (UTC)That is one of the THE hottest lines EVER!!!!!!!! Holy fucking shit, B!!!!
I'm sorry you're entering my yesterday's world of the Red Demon. :-( *hugs you super gently*
As for the worry/anxiety: Is there a way to get to a place of trust? Putting your trust in the Universe that it will safely carry you where you need to be? Because I believe it will, B. When I'm overwhelmed, I try to get to a place of "It Is What It Is." Of just existing as much in the present moment, rather than the future, as possible.
And you've got us!!!! If you need a hug, some porn, some advice, a laugh, a friend, you've got us. We love you, B. :-) ♥
And for the record, I fucking love the word cunt.
*THUD*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:25 am (UTC)Your writing is fabulous, silly. You are too hard on yourself, and maybe your porn is telling you to branch out.
Furry fun reminds me of the episode of CSI where Willie Garson plays a furry. He's a purple cat in a bikini called "Sexy" (yes, he is a female furry). If I can find that episode for you, I will send it to you!
I love your porn. I love that Peter loves Neal. I love that Neal loves El and Peter, but he seems so afraid of both of them. He needs cuddles today, I am thinking.
Feel better!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:39 am (UTC)I'm so sorry! It sucks so bad. Goshdarn bodies.
OMG, that was Wille Garson? Maybe I will have to rethink my plan...
Thank you so much for the lovely, wonderful compliments, and the cuddles (for me and for Neal).
I hope you feel better, too!
♥
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 05:28 am (UTC)BUT, I have angsty porn in the works, so maybe I'll get that up tomorrow. And before you ask, no, it's not connected to ANY of my other projects. -face palm-
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 05:07 pm (UTC)Hope your uterus has calmed down a bit!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:34 am (UTC)*loves the fandom porn!*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:39 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked the porn! :D
Thanks, bb. ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 03:52 am (UTC)I will add, I loves the hot things of fic and stuff!!! :-D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 04:17 am (UTC)But I don't think a lot of people would write it just based on how much femslash would be involved and you know how fandom is about that.
:D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 04:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 11:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 07:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 11:34 pm (UTC)I'm totally shipping you and
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-03 12:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-03 01:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 05:36 am (UTC)Also, I can bring the porn, but it's not as hot as yours.
“I want to hear you,” she says, grazing her teeth across the edge of his chin. “I want *him* to hear you.” Neal moans at that, unable to help himself. He likes to put on a show, likes the rush from the attention. But he finds that he likes more what it does to Peter, how he gets so riled up until he just can’t take watching any longer. How it can break Peter’s carefully constructed control and self imposed ideas of what he deserves, or what he can have, and he loses himself to primal instinct.
“Good boy,” Elizabeth croons, and Neal’s embarrassed at how much the diminutive makes the pit of his stomach churn with pleasure. She slowly makes her way down his chest, licking, sucking and biting a trail towards his waist. Her movements are random, keeping him on his toes. He loves it.
He gasps when she bites a nipple sharply, soothing it with her tongue only to do it again. It’ll ache tomorrow every time his shirt brushes against it, but he loves the reminder of who they all really are. He runs his hands up and down her back, tracing her curves. He wants to do something more but can’t. It’s frustrating, but what she asked for. There’s always later.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 05:09 pm (UTC)I hope you are handling your flail okay! It's nice to have company. :D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-03 04:22 am (UTC)I R not much of a porn maker. But you can has another. (UNBETAED 1ST DRAFT FAIL WARNING)
Neal smiles his little half smile, the one that Peter loves the most for what it means, and watches as he leans down to kiss El thoroughly, but gently. “Thank you,” he says, barely above a whisper and a hair’s breadth away from her lips, before shifting to guide himself inside her. Neal groans elegantly.
“Perfection,” he breathes, running a hand down her chest and smearing the chocolate even more. Peter wants to lick it off both of them.
Peter’s enthralled, watching their dynamic play out. Sometimes it’s playful, sometimes it’s serious, but he can never predict which way it’s going to turn. El and Neal are mirrors of each other, and following El’s moods is hard enough—having both of them is like having quicksilver running through your fingers.
They move together, slowly but building speed, and he watches the signs of the impending finish on both of them. He reaches between them and starts to rub her clit, short strokes while he rests the side of his hand lightly against Neal’s cock as he thrusts in and out. El squeals as she starts to come, and Neal makes a keening noise.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-03 09:38 pm (UTC)I especially love this first line -
Neal smiles his little half smile, the one that Peter loves the most for what it means.
Thank you for sharing! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 06:08 am (UTC)Sorry to hear you're feeling under the weather; hope the weekend gets here quickly (or seems to get here quickly, anyway).
Re: hot, sexy, angsty porn:
Neal feels incredibly fragile in this, and Peter's being so angry (not at Neal, per se, yet angry all the same) probably doesn't quite help (because I'd imagine Neal might pick up on the anger, but not on what causes it).
Loved it - nothing like starting off your day with a bit of porn. <3
[1] It was Japanese, all right? They come up with stuff like that.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 05:17 pm (UTC)And thank you so much for your lovely feedback on the lonely little pornlet. :D
Also - wow. Flowershop -> assassins? That's some serious awesome, yo. :D :D :D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 06:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 08:19 am (UTC)Great pornlet. Mmmm...
And YAY for you doing kinkbingo. You're going to kick some ass and we'll all benefit :)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-02 05:33 pm (UTC)And YAY for you doing kinkbingo. You're going to kick some ass and we'll all benefit :)
*glee*
Thanks, bb. :D :D :D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-07 02:38 am (UTC)However this piece love it. I don't know for some reason though it seems to read as an out take from a slave fic or a massive h/c fic, where someone was obviously callous about Neal's wants and needs, am I shamelessly trying to jog your muse? Hell yes, because you are one of the few authors I have read pro or not that does not make a third partner feel like an afterthought or ornament.