hoosierbitch: by <lj user="cookielaura"> (MY OT3 HAS CAKE)
I have been COOKING! It started at the beginning of the semester, when I was too poor to, like, buy food, and was scraping things together--but I'm still going! I've been doing little things like buying carrots/celery/peppers/broccoli and cutting them up all at the same time. Then I just put them in little ziploc baggies and take them to school with me, and eat them with hummus, and they are tasty. I'm discovering how much I like fresh, uncooked peppers.

Also, crepes are super easy to make, and I have nutella and frozen strawberries to put in them, but ALSO, I put in stir-fried veggies and mozzarella one time, and it was AWESOME.

I baked a couple loaves of Challah for Passover, and made chili on Saturday, and made potato soup tonight (it is cheesy and delicious and full of fresh parsley). I made huge batches of both and put a lot of it in the freezer, so that when I'm in hell week for my show, I won't be reduced to eating Burger King every meal. O.o

I got eggplant and butternut squash at the farmer's market, so I'm gonna make eggplant parm and a squash casserole.

Pretty much the most cooking I've done prior to this in my life is, like, macaroni. So it is all very new. Thank god for the internet. My search history is kind of sad. "Can I use potatoes when they have grown EYES? How can the onions not make me cry? Can you cook potatoes with skins on? HOW DO I FOOD?"

hoosierbitch: (BTVS Silly Funny Kink Romance Anya "Let')
Unfortunately, I dropped my iPhone in the toilet a few days ago. Fortunately, I was then able to make a lot of bad jokes about things not going swimmingly! Unfortunately, my sense of humor, she is not what she should be. Fortunately, I stuck it in a bag of rice right away! Unfortunately, it did not get better. /o\ Fortunately, there's an upgrade available on my family's AT&T plan! Unfortunately, everyone except for my father uses the upgrades to replace killed/drowned/run-over/lost phones, so, since Dad's responsible, he's been stuck with his crappy (but functional) phone for yeeeeeeeeeeeeears. It's a flip phone that autocorrects 'you' to 'yot.'

Fortunately/Unfortunately is a fun theatre game. Just FYI.

Question for those of you with iPhones: Is the iPhone 4S worth the extra money, instead of getting an iPhone 4? Do you actually use Siri? I think I'd get the upgrade mostly for the camera (which, dudes, the amount of photos I lost with my old phone is ridiculous).

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 17

Phone to buy?

View Answers

iPhone 4
2 (14.3%)

iPhone 4S
5 (35.7%)

Other AT&T phone
2 (14.3%)

Phones give you ear cancer.
1 (7.1%)

Goddamn capitalist sons of a bitches!
4 (28.6%)


View Answers

I had a tick on my hand once.
3 (23.1%)

It was gross.
3 (23.1%)

I ran around screaming for a while when I saw it.
3 (23.1%)

It made me feel bad for dogs who get ticks.
6 (46.2%)

They can't use tweezers to pull them off because they have no fingers.
7 (53.8%)

Favorite h/c theme:

View Answers

Issues of insecurity
2 (11.8%)

Comfort after emotional injury
6 (35.3%)

4 (23.5%)

Comfort after physical injury
3 (17.6%)

Other, which you'll talk about in comments...?
2 (11.8%)

Pick a kink, any (of these five) kink(s):

View Answers

Orgasm control
4 (26.7%)

Use of toys
1 (6.7%)

2 (13.3%)

First time sex
6 (40.0%)

2 (13.3%)

I put _____ in my burritos:

View Answers

Beans! Beans?
2 (12.5%)

The special beans!
5 (31.2%)

I haven't seen Into the Woods so that joke doesn't make sense!
4 (25.0%)

3 (18.8%)

There's not enough literary criticism and/or penis in this poll.
10 (62.5%)

There's a poll in the DW entry, so go over there if you like clicky boxes and/or burritos.
hoosierbitch: (kink silly stock porn ahead)
So last night, I was like: 'I'mma take a break from this long fic I'm working on, and write some random fun Avengers smut!'

Now I'm 6k into an omega!Clint fic. I don't really know how the alpha/beta/omega genre evolved, but I'm having fun writing a biologically driven D/s dynamic. Instead of a PWP, though, it's turning out all angsty and mildly plotty, and I've only just now gotten to a sex scene. It's not even with the main pairing. 



I spent two hours texting made-up insults with BFF today. We ended on "wheedledump" and "scatterass." My favorites, though, were "rumfuzzle" and "bumplefrump."

It's a fun game. 

Summer camp is going well. I have snapped at some small children, but THEY DESERVED IT. O.o I made some time this week to work with two of the super-quiet girls, who are now almost audible when they talk onstage. I'm giving myself back-pats. \o/ The guy who's actually directing the play has been gone for the last three days, so I've gotten to do a lot more, which is great, but a couple of times rehearsal has started, and people start looking at me, and I'm stuck going: '...buzzwah?' Sometimes they neglect to tell me that no one else is coming in, and that I need to take charge and make schedules and find space. It's frustrating, but, ultimately, I'm learning more and getting great experience! POSITIVITY! (That's not a word. How is that not a word?)

Arizona's still hot, but thus far, it's nothing compared to St. Louis. I'd much rather be in 112 degree temp in AZ than 95 in St. Louis. Dry heat really does make a difference. 

Um. Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah.

This post has no nutritional value!
hoosierbitch: (FNL Stock Comfort bear hug)

*stares out the window*


In more serious news: It seems like a lot of folks are having a rough time right now. Maybe it's because the weather's changing, maybe because it's the end/beginning of semesters, or maybe it's because sometimes life just kicks you in the balls/ovaries for no reason at all.

So if you've been having a crap day/week/month/year/life, or are expecting to go through a rough/busy/depressing/stressful/unpleasant time sometime soon, you should request a fic from me. Even if all that's happened is that you stubbed your toe--which can suck, especially if it's your little toe, because then you feel like a bully--you should request something. Think of it as a hug-substitute (because if we were close together, I would hug you, because I am huggy. Also if we were close together you too would be in the DESERT where there are CACTUSES).

You can check my fandom tags for things I'm familiar with (and also add everything Jeremy Renner's ever done, and Parks & Rec). I'll write any pairings, ratings, and kinks. Request whatever would be the written equivalent of (vegetarian) chicken soup for your soul. I know it's not much, but I'd like to help if I can.

As always, anon commenting is enabled.

I adore you all! [Also I adore cactuses! But I like you guys more. Probably.]

hoosierbitch: (kink bdsm silly)
oh, porn. )


Also, I am going on a woman-up-and-reply-to-comments spree, so, for those of you who reply on a lot of my fics: first of all--THANK YOU! Secondly--I apologize in advance for the slew of comments you're about to receive. I have, like, weird mental problems about feedback, which is why it takes me so long to reply. It's not because I don't appreciate comments (I LOVE THEM, I've been smiling like a crazy person while replying to them), it's just that I...get overwhelmed by them, or something. And I'm always afraid that my replies will seem disingenuous, or be inadequate to express how happy and grateful I am for the feedback. Okay? Okay.


In other news: I forgot to celebrate this when I came up, but it's my new favorite fandom milestone: when I first made my mistress (master) list of fics, I dated it out of order, setting it way in the future so that it'd stay at the top of my journal. 'Way in the future'--aka, March 4th, 2012--has come and gone. :-)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand finally:

I need a beta, y'all. I've got 5k of new kid!Neal, about 4k in Marvel fic (CLINT IS DYSLEXIC AND NEEDS NATASHA's PLATONIC LOVE), a giant Grimm WIP, and...IDK, other stuff too. I tend to write fics for challenges and things and then not collect them (again, because of my WHAT IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THEM/ME issues). I'd prefer if my close friends--people with whom I've met in person seems like a good barometer of that--didn't volunteer. (I love you guys! I just want to keep my neurosis separate from my relaxing-time.)

...any volunteers for betaing duty (even if just for one fic, one fandom, specific ratings, whatever), suggestions of places/posts to find a beta, or recommendations for people I can ask? Thank you in advance. :-)


[Fun fact: did you guys know that guesstimate is a real word?]
hoosierbitch: (FNL funny This icon is at the game)
re: subj line--"next to normal" anyone? yes. i saw that musical once, and they sang that line SO MANY TIMES that it pops into my head whenever i'm feeling lively after a down spell. it's replaced the zombie "i'm aliiiiiiiiiiiiive!"


So, it has been many moons (er, that means months, doesn't it. fortnights? couple-of-days-long-units-of-time) since I last updated.

Me in a nutshell: Finished out the year. Ended on a sour note with some people, which, I don't usually do, on account of how I avoid confrontation/negative interactions, so it threw me for a loop more than it perhaps should have. I'm heading to Phoenix in...a week (Phoenix! In ARIZONA!) for an internship. So, if my updating doesn't continue, it's possible that I've died of heat. 

I should write a fuller entry on this, but: I got to meet [personal profile] arsenicjade a few weekends ago, and she is LOVELY. She got me hooked on Magnificent 7, and we ate delicious food (smoosh-in ice cream and Indian food and homecooked pasta sauce with delicious bread), and mostly we lounged. It was relaxing and invigorating and fun. :-)

Um. Let's see. I'm bad at recapping. Um. I have a bag! Like, a nice bag! From a department store! It's made for women! *stares at it* I saw it, and my brain (and body, actually) made grabby hands. We're in love. It's weird. *stares at it more* I'm not big on shopping, and I mostly stick to gender-neutral/butch clothing, but this BAG. *stares more*

Uuuuuuuuuuuuum I should go write fic now. I have this weekend empty of things to do, so I need to make sure I do not slack, because I will be a happier person if I am writing stories. 

I think (hope) I'm coming out of a kind of nasty depressive swing. I'm generally pretty crap at transitional periods, and worrying about money is never good on top of that, and I'm moving house, and saying goodbye to the folks who are graduating, and also, I've just been lonely. Which. Yeah. Sucks. But! I am feeling more chipper (I am sooooooooooo alive) and I'm going to go write and comment on folks' entries (I am soooooooooooooooo behind) and at some point, I shall eat food! Probably while watching Captain America. Because the Avengers have eaten my brain.



hoosierbitch: (Default)
  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, [personal profile] elrhiarhodan! I am so glad that we are friends. :-) Which. Does not quite convey how much you mean to me, or the depth of the relationship that we've developed over the past years--through fic, and conversations, and SEEING THE LION KING ON BROADWAY, and drunkenmadlibs in Chicago. You are one of the best people I know. You're a brilliant, generous, amazing woman, and I am so happy to celebrate your birthday. ♥ (At some point, I shall write you a birthday fic! I don't know what it will be. But it will involve BOOTS!)
  2. Both of my shows are over! Directing & acting. I have EVENINGS again! I should write. O.o
  3. DO YOU KNOW HOW COOL KINDLES ARE? VERY COOL, IS THE ANSWER. I got one on a whim, because I was going into two weeks of rehearsal for a 2.5 hour play where I was onstage for maybe 15 minutes, and knew I was going to have a lot of downtime. Amazon's got that 30-day return policy, so I thought I'd just sort of...rent it. NOW WE ARE MARRIED, AND I READ ALL THE BOOKS.
  4. very minor glee spoilers! )
...somehow DW won't let me add any more numbers to my list. FOUR IS ALL I GET. And it's putting double spacing in my capslock...


Give me a prompt, and I will write a 100-word-ish drabble for it. Provide pairing or central character, a scenario or starting line, and I shall give you GENIUS! Or perhaps MEDIOCRITY! I may not give you a completed fic, but it will be something.  Perhaps a haiku? A sonnet? An Irish drinking song? Prompt me, and find out! :-) 

Fandoms: White Collar, XMFC, Glee, Grimm, Merlin, Parks & Recreation, Star Trek (2009), JOHN CARTER OF ABDOMINAL MUSCLES, Avengers
hoosierbitch: (Psych funny silly Lassie OMG)
you know who's got two deadlines and sucks at planning? THIS guy!

that works much less good than it would if you could see me pointing at myself. not that i actually am, because i'm typing, and it's more of a metaphorical thing, but anyways. 

so: toronto. IS AMAZING. and i've walked about a bazillion miles and gave myself shin splints and bought awesome boots (...hopefully, those two things are unrelated...) and saw WAR HORSE for practically NO MONEY and sat in the SECOND ROW and basically that was just the coolest ever. 

i will post in more detail later, because i really need to sing [profile] ivorysilk's praises--she has been such a gracious host. also, she has bunnies, and a comfortable couch, and she has been really really nice to me even though she's crazy busy and is coming down with the flu. 

which. um. okay. it is a good thing that she is so nice, because i was double-checking my plans for tomorrow, and realized that the bus ticket i got--to go to buffalo--does not go to the buffalo airport, it goes to the bus station, which is an hour away from the airport. i bought a ticket for the wrong route.

D: )

this is a not wonderful ending to what has otherwise been a truly spectacular vacation. i shall eat extra chocolate tomorrow morning to make sure it ends on a sweet note. and then i will write ridiculous kid!fic for [livejournal.com profile] ivorysilk so that hopefully she will not hate me.

to sum up: yay vacation, whoops geography, daaang school, hopefully porn!
hoosierbitch: (Default)
I didn't get around to any end-of-the-year memes, and I didn't do a round up (although one of these days I really will make sure everything's over on AO3!), but there is something I want to talk about.

The most important thing that happened to me last year was that I finally dealt with my depression.

trigger warning for excessively rambly reminiscing about depression )


I know that everyone who has depression experiences it in their own way and faces obstacles of their own. I know that my story is atypical, a work in progress, and right now still in a honeymoon phase. But it's a new year, goddammit! And I want to start it off by offering, to anyone who might need it, what was offered to me: hope.

I'm going to leave the rest of this entry to [personal profile] resonant, who has summarized the issue much more eloquently and concisely than I can. This is in her words, and was copied with permission from her post here.


I don't want to cause anyone pain or add to anyone's burdens.

But if you have depression or an anxiety disorder, and you've been putting off getting treatment because of the familiar litany of internalized self-hatred --

... Other people have it much worse than I do ...
... I'm not really sick; I just need to suck it up and deal with real life ...
... My pain is not important enough to justify professional help; I'd just be wasting someone's time ...
... Really most of it I'm just making up or exaggerating ...
... I can work, so I must be fine, right? ...

-- then what I want to say to you is this: If you were to go out today and find a counselor (or a different counselor, one who works better for you), I can promise you that there is someone in your life, someone who loves you, who would be so happy. Someone who would feel like it was their birthday and the FedEx truck just pulled up in front of their house. Someone who would feel like some horrible ear-splitting noise had just suddenly ceased.

Is this selfish of me? Possibly. If it sounds like that to you, ignore it; as I say, I don't want to make anyone's life more difficult. But if you're not treating your pain because you think that you're the only one who has to live with it, I can assure you that you're mistaken.


hoosierbitch: (Grimm funny silly Reaper "Because I'm wo)
You ever have one of those days where you're like "dangit, my writing's gotten so repetitive I just bored the heck out of myself trying to edit it," and then you read stuff by other people that's so good you can't even comprehend how they wrote such awesome shit, you just know you've never written anything close to that?

...and then you remember that you wrote pretty much this exact same post seven months ago, and got amazing, thorough, thought-provoking answers from really good friends who cared enough to take the time to help you out?

I'm still trying to figure out how to stretch myself. Since I made that post, however, I've written more "women having awesome sex" fics, and written two stories that broke the 20k barrier, which is really cool. I've also written in a couple of new fandoms, X-Men and Grimm, and inhabiting those different worlds and writing from the POVs of new characters has helped to free up my style.

(...I'm also on mental meds that have given me my first multi-week stretch of "good days" since I was around thirteen years old. It is so freaky y'all, I cannot even talk about it coherently yet. Suffice to say: I'm, like, happy! O.o Hopefully that will help me take my frustrated energy and channel it into "How can I challenge myself in new ways, and set better goals for myself?" and less into "WHY DO YOU INSIST ON SUCKING SO BAD ALL THE TIME, YOU DOUCHEY DOUCHE BAG?")

Things that would challenge me and would be fun to write:
  1. Straight-up dubcon fic--probably Renard/Monroe/Nick, or even feral!Monroe/Nick.
  2. The longfic about Neal/Peter/Elizabeth meeting each other's parents
  3. Dark Angel service kink, which has been rolling around in my head for over a year, because service kink intrigues and perplexes me and I have researched it muchly.
  4. Maybe the Kurt/Puck long-relationship fic, based on this essay about the eight stages of a relationship (playing within a pre-determined structure)
It's easy for me to fall back on just writing some random porn for an anon kink meme, because I know I will probably get some comments, and that always makes me feel really good. But when I gather that stuff together and think about reposting it, I just feel like...like it isn't worth the effort. Right now I'm not saying anything that I haven't already said in a dozen fics.

I'm going to repost a question that I asked in my original "help me be better at writing" post, because since June I've made a lot of new friends and (I hope) progressed some as a writer, and would like new input:

Do you have any suggestions for stories that I should try? An AU that brings up an issue I haven't dealt with before, an idea for a way impose an interesting structure on a story, a plotline/scene that you think I could write that is different from what I usually tackle? 

And a new question--I need to find ways to challenge myself with porn/sex scenes. Because I really really really like to write porn. I like BDSM, I like the mental aspects of sex, I like powerplay, I like the way the physical conversations can subsume the verbal ones. At this point though, I get kind of lost midway through a scene and just end up going through the motions. I signed up for a kink bingo card this round, and then realized that I'd written every single square already. I don't want to stop writing porn, so I need to find other ways to make it new and interesting.

Does anyone have any suggestions for plot ideas, narrative techniques, porn to read, new dynamics/people combinations, weird places to have sex in, tropes that intrigue you, or something else entirely that might help me shake things up?

Please don't feel obligated to respond (especially because these are pretty self-indulgent & complicated questions!). l'm going to keep trucking along with this on my own, it just really helps me sort it out when I write it all down. :-) 

Completely random footnote: I'm watching Portlandia with my sister, and she thinks Steve Buscemi is the sexiest man alive.

...also, DW, why don't you want to end my cut text where I tell you to? [note to DW part 2: and why did you screw up the indentations?] 
I even checked your html and everything. Goshdarn cut tags, never seem to do what I want 'em to...