Dropping truth bombs of the unfun honest variety

[hoosierbitch]

So. Depression.

Yeah.

Sometimes there's just a voice screaming in my head. Just screaming really loud.

When I try to relax by breathing deeply I end up crying, so it's hard to practice my anti-anxiety strategies.  I avoid family phone calls because talking to people seems impossible. Sometimes replying to emails or texts feels like my body turns to lead and I just can't.

Making dinner seems impossible. I've been living on granola bars and hot pockets.

I had two good weeks at the end of December. Other than that I've been feeling down since...probably early November. Maybe October. I made new appts with therapist/psychologist, to try and sort out my brain chemically and logically.  I'm trying to get this under control but at this point  I spend the vast majority of my not-at-work time curled in a tiny ball in the corner of my bed.

Stress. Money. Anxiety. Health. Fatigue. Fear. Avoidance.

So.

Depression.

Yeah.

Comments

[hora-tio.livejournal.com]

I am bi polar and feel your pain....

unless you have ever experienced it first hand people just don't get it...like why don't you just snap out of it?....as if..

I hope that things start to get better for you and that your doctors can help you out......

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

♥

Thanks, bb. I'm sorry you go through this too. It really sucks a lot. And I hate people who treat it like something you should just be able to work through if you want to bad enough.

I hope I get things better soon.

I know it's my tag for this entry and everything, but I'm just gonna say it again, because depression is no fun at all.

*hugs*

[embroiderama]

*hugs* I'm sorry, I know that place, and it sucks. It's so...self-reinforcing. Making those appointments is a good (and hard) step, and I hope that things get a bit brighter for you soon.

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

Your icon's perfect.

Thanks for the understanding and the well-wishes. This is a really shitty place to be, and it's comforting to know I've got friends who know what it's like. ♥

[winterstar95.livejournal.com]

Good that you are trying to get appointments to get this under control. I have to admit I can understand where you are, I have been hiding my depression for some months now, just because I simply can't be depressed, but every now and again when everyone is gone, I break down.

I think it is a good thing that you've identified it and want to fix it. This is the best step you can take. I hope things get better for you and I can only say, please don't let money get you down.

Oh and yes to anything you want to throw at me for your writing, I adore your writing.

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

Moving to a new city has been really rough. Any time I have free time I just fall straight into a funk. It's hard to get going again. I hope you can break out of your working-through-things/breakdown cycle. *hugs*

I've been dealing with depression for basically my entire life. It has yet to get any easier. :-/

I have thrown you writing. :-)

[lokifan]

:( Love and good luck to you.

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

Thanks, bb. ♥

[rabidchild.livejournal.com]

I want to hug you and take you away

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

*icon hugs*

[ivorysilk]

*hugs* I adore you, but I am one of many. So, you know, if you want an ear or someone to send you cute photos of bunnies or puppies, you know you need only ask. In fact, I think I shall post you a link now:

GO FORTHWITH:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nto_Uw32CIE

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

I love that vid. And you. And your bunbuns. Thank you for being so lovely and supportive.