BOOBIES!

[hoosierbitch]

Good news: I took my notebook with me to dinner, and got some writing done!
Bad news: when I got home, I dropped my bag (and v. pointy notebook) on my toe. 

Ow.  

LET'S TALK ABOUT BOOBIES. 

I HAVE THEM! Two, to be exact. *double checks* Yup, just the two. I went bra shopping a while ago. It is my least favorite part of shopping (well, okay, after shoe shopping). But I got fitted because my girls have grown a bit and the fitting lady said I have shallow boobs. I dunno how I can have shallow DDs, BUT I DO. 

\o/

Also what is inconvenient about my boobies (*giggle*) is that I've got perky nipples. And I can either wear a padded bra which makes my already amble bosom look like it's COMING TO GETCHU, or wear a thinner bra that then gives the world the impression that I am very chilly. 

IS A DILEMMA. 

*puzzles*

Just thought I'd share that with y'all.

IN OTHER RANDOM NEWS: 

I have a big bed, right? Because I am a tall person, and I like to turn in circles in my sleep. And also, I really would love to share it with multiple people at some point in the future. Y'know who I don't want to share it with? MATING HOUSEFLIES. OMG THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM. AND THEY'RE MATING VERY ANGRILY, AND THEY KEEP BUMBLING ONTO MY KEYBOARD. I know I've written a lot of filthy shit on this computer, but it's never felt SOILED before. SHOO, FLY! DON'T BOTHER ME!

Also, my downstairs-neighbor draws me into conversations every time he sees me, and I seem to be incapable of extricating myself from the conversations in a graceful manner. I said 'bye' to him three time before I actually made it past his doorway (then went inside and dropped my bag on my toe and swore like a...well, a little kid, honestly. DANGIT!). I am going to need to improve my SNEAKY-LIKE A NINJA skills to get past his door. Or just resign myself to hearing about what he eats for lunch every day. Apparently: ham sandwiches. 

Wow. My life's SO EXCITING. Boobies and old men and mating houseflies. I KNOW. YOU'RE JEALOUS. 

On a more serious note: seen a couple posts on my flist today about odd feedback, handling unwanted/unwarranted criticism, and tips on giving concrit. I may try and put together some coherent thoughts on that later, because I've had a few different pieces of feedback that really took me aback, and I've also had some thinky-thoughts about combining dramaturgy and concrit that I think may be kind of interesting!

I've got more thoughts right now as a writer who's gotten confusing feedback, but I thought I'd ask y'all: as readers, what stories are hardest to leave feedback for? What do you do when you are confused by a story, or think that the author may have made a mistake? What do you WISH you could do? 

Off to type up two more drabbles - the meme's still open if anyone else wants to go play! :D

ETA: apologies for being accidentally stupid and offensive - I used the term "wheelchair-bound" to describe my downstairs neighbour, which is not an appropriate (or accurate) term. I've deleted that information because, on second thought, it wasn't really relevant information - but if it comes up in the future, I now know to use something like "wheelchair user" instead of "wheelchair bound." I'm very sorry for the folks who read this post before I got that fixed, and  also want to thank the person who pointed that mistake out to me!

Comments

[elrhiarhodan]

I have no idea why I'm using the Puffins on this comment, but they somehow seem quite appropriate.

Anyway. Nipples story. There is a woman in my office, a few years (3 or 4) years younger than me, and she has a perpetual case of NHO. And she wears really thin, tight fitting bras and tops - but not overtly sexy-like tight. Just like she's put on 10 lbs and her clothes don't quite fit anymore tight. And sometimes she comes into my office and plops herself down in one of my guest chairs and starts talking...and those nipples are staring out at me. It kind of creeps me out...because it's the office and there should be some sort office rule about NHO and I am finding myself wanting to give her masking tape or band-aides or something.

And then there was the time I was in Starbucks and this mother-daughter combo came in (think Snookie from the J-Shore, but blonde) and they were in matching wifebeaters and LOUDLY comparing their boob jobs and who had perkier nipples.

OKAY - NUFF ABOUT NIPPLES.

No comment on flies...or shut ins.

I did get a weird poster!anon comment on one of my recent fics. The person was sarcastic and rude and basically was not a fan of MY BIG NAKED SHOW or the concept of slash or even my writing. I answered it respectfully and then got pissed off. Seriously pissed off. And I deleted its ass. This was only the second time I had done that. The first was a completely different situation.

I had just published the first part of my Privilege fic (and I was quite proud of the story and the way I was building the plot) and this person comes along and writes a comment (very snide tone) and spoils the whole plot because SHE WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW SHE'S SMARTER THAN I AM. I wrote to her privately and let her know I hadn't appreciated her spoilers...and she did apologize and agree that it was appropriate for me to take her comment down. But she's never commented on anything I ever wrote after that.

There's been other weird f/b, but I find it fun to respond to, particularly when an commenter completely misses the point, or points out something I never considered. I like responding to that, because I am, at heart, a feedback whore and I like any opportunity to talk about my writing.

As for the meme, can I play again, BB?

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

OMG THE FLIES ARE DRIVING ME CRAAAAAAAZY.

Also, I get that having prominent nipples can be awkward for other people, but it sucks from the other side, too. I don't really want to have to tape my body down so that it won't make other folks uncomfortable. But I also don't really liked being stared at. LIKE I SAID: IS A DILEMMA.

Weird comments are weird, and if I do get my thoughts together enough for a meta, I think I'm gonna try to write it! :D

PLAY THE MEME AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D

[elrhiarhodan]

1. Google is a wonderful thing. THIS is a real website.

2. Bugspray? Disgusting but effective

3. Play again on mine and I'll drabble you. Even give you smexing. I can too write something for you that's less than 5000 words. Let me prove it.

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

1. Yeah - they sound like they'd do the trick, but they're also $30 per 25. Not really worth it, IMHO!

2. I'mma stock up on that, and pick up some fly tape. ARGH!

3. Will do! Also, I feel bad hoping that you're wrong, but it feels WORSE to hope for shorter fic as opposed to long ones... O.O I WILL LOVE WHATEVER YOU WRITE, AS ALWAYS!

[elrhiarhodan]

Can't wait...

I just wrote a pornish drabble for Sonia. If I can do it for her, I can certainly do it for you!

[photoash.livejournal.com]

I have these bali bras that have 'petals' over the nipple area that are supposed to help that problem (not why I bought them but they seem like they would work <3)

I hate flies :/ good luck with that!

*hugs* <3 glad to know you're writing and enjoying yourself again!

[lionessvalenti.livejournal.com]

Dude, I love any conversation about boobs. No complaints here. :D

I used to give a lot of concrit. I was good at it. I always flanked the criticisms with compliments, so it wasn't just "here's the issues", but "here's the issues, and here's the stuff I liked too". Just piling on the criticisms never worked for me (except once when a story was really bad on many levels and really pissed me off, but that was an extreme circumstance and will probably never happen again). To take the time to leave a thoughtful comment, I wasn't going to do it for any story, I had to really think the author was good to point out the issues. I wanted to believe that the advice may actually be put into consideration. I stopped giving it, though, after dealing with situations where people I know who say they can take concrit, but really can't and take it personally and it's a big issue. So I just stopped altogether. It's hard for me to receive concrit sometimes, because it can make me just feel dumb (AS YOU NOW KNOW), but I know it's for the betterment of the story, or the future of my writing. If I receive a comment on something, especially if it makes me really feel something, I'm going to remember it. I always remember the moments when I feel stupid, so I'm going to try to avoid that again. And, dear god, I'd never take out those feelings and make it an issue with the person who pointed it out. Everyone has issues in their writing and/or makes mistakes.

Um. Huh, that got long. But anyway, now if I have an issue with a story, I usually just ignore or it don't leave a comment at all. Fanfic isn't worth friendship rifts, and anymore, I don't want to assume someone is okay with it, even if they say they are.

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

Boobies are the best! OO <--mah boobs

See, I used to be one of those people who say that they're good at taking concrit - I used to end my posts with "feedback and concrit are welcome," or something like that - but then my insecurity kicked in when I GOT some concrit, and I realized that no, actually, concrit makes me feel quite terrible. Unless it's delivered with a lot of compliments and handholding. And I don't want to, like, put THAT at the bottom of a post!

So I'm pretty hands-off about leaving anything remotely concrit-ish in comments (although I will say what I think if someone flat-out asks me, and I beta once in a blue moon for writers that I love and trust, LIKE YOU).

And - well. I don't know. Sharing my writing with anyone makes me really anxious - so I kind of like that if I post something online and it SUCKS, the worst that'll happen is that people won't say anything at all, not that they'll say: OMG LOOKIT HOW YOU SUCK! Because I think I'm still sort of fragile enough as a writer that if I got a lot of concrit on everything I posted, I'd stop posting. I know that's kind of stupid, though, because I won't get better if I don't get feedback. So I'm trying to think of relatively painless ways to GET that kind of feedback, so that I can improve as a writer, without crushing my self-esteem.

Erm. Apparently I really felt like rambling about my issues at you. ♥?

[lionessvalenti.livejournal.com]

My boobs are more like o___o They are average-ish and wideset. I wear push-ups for the illusion of cleavage.

I think, the fact is, as writers, we're all fragile no matter how well we say we can take it. It's what we do with the concrit. I see people talking themselves out of the criticisms they receive, telling themselves the person is wrong. And that's not really helpful to yourself. It was funny, last night I saw Hart Hanson tweeting about how he was writing and it was crappy, and Jeff Eastin replied that what he was writing was crappier. It made me think, last year I went to a Doctor Who con and I was talking with Rob Shearman, a writer, (both of us were SO DRUNK at this point) and he said that the feeling that your writing sucks never goes away. Even if you're a professional, getting paid for it, you will always think your writing is terrible.

That actually made me feel better. Well, except that realization that the feeling that my writing is horrible will never go away, but that I'm not alone in it. People who are paid to write feel the same way about their work.

♥! I've kind of always been one of those people that people find they can talk to about anything. I'm accustomed to it at this point. :)

[surreal-44.livejournal.com]

Are your boobies sort of flat at the top and then get fuller at the bottom? That might be what she means by 'shallow boobies'.

I worked at Victoria's Secret for two years, Lane Bryant for two years and a specialty bra shop for 6 months. I have lotsa experience with boobies if you has more questions. :-D

Have you tried DIMRS? A lot of my customers had good luck with those.

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

*pokes boobies*

They ARE a bit flatter on the top and fuller at the bottom!

*pats boobies*

And I'll look into DIMRS! I found some online, but I was wondering if any of the retail stores you worked at sell them instore (to save on shipping costs)?

[surreal-44.livejournal.com]

There is a store that sells them here. :-D I would be most delighted to helps you out if you need it. :-D

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

Oh, gosh. I'm not going to be out in your neck of the woods for a while, sadly. BUT HEY - my BFF (and roommate!) still has a ton of family in Laf, so I'm sure I'll end up traipsing through there a time or two in the coming year - we could totally meet up somewhere in the middle, yes? And I think there are a few other WC folks who are located in the Midwest, who I didn't get to see when I went to Chicago - maybe we should try and organize a get together over fall break or something!

*ponders*

*pats boobies randomly*

[surreal-44.livejournal.com]

If you want DIMRS before all that, I could always mail them to you. Instead of like the 900 dollars you'd spend, you'd get it for free because I have this prepaid postage stuff I need to use up.

Lemme know if you want them before fall! :-D

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

I'm PMing you now, thanks, Surreal! :D

[eppy]

HAHA THIS ENTRY.

Boobies and houseflies, I give all of this two thumbs up.

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

OO

(I'm giving you two boobies up! Erm. Don't worry, that's not going to become a THING. I'm just REALLY enjoying saying BOOBIES all over the place...)

[eppy]

bwaha there is really not enough chance to use that word.

[ladygray99]

I'd go for the padded bras. That's what I do.

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I do that a lot of the time, too. It's just that mah girls are already so BIG! The minimizers feel so much more comfortable, but the material's so much thinner. I think I'mma look into the nipple covers, see how those work.

(Also, for some reason I'm enjoying the heck out of saying boobies, but saying 'nipples' still makes me feel embarrassed. GOSH.)

[nekochi-life.livejournal.com]

:D

hi!

I hate bra shoping too :(
My problem is a bit different though. I have really small boobs... Actually, some people have said that they are none existent :P
But my chest bone and ribs are really prominent.
This body type isn't common at all where I live, so if I buy a bra that fits my ribs and back an chest bone, well, it will, with out a doubt, be too big for my boobies.

About concrit.
Well I don't give it, I just tell the author what I liked about their fic.
But I have recieved it. I LOVE IT! I like getting it because I always end up getting a new beta and maybe even a friend and the story improves so much, which means I learn a lot too.
Well, I know some concrit can be a bit hard, and the concrit-ers know this too, and they feel a bit worried after they've shared their opinion, but, for me, if the critic is harder, the result is better.

BUT if the criticism is pointless and just rude, then it's useless for the story... That hasn't happened to me though.


I don't know much about flies...
Good luck with that :D

Bye!

[hoosierbitch.livejournal.com]

Ack, that sucks - I can usually find bras that fit me, they're just always so much BIGGER than I want them to be... :D

I think your views on concrit make a lot of sense - you've very smart about it! I generally focus on the things that I loved most about a story, in comments. Unfortunately, I'm pretty terrible at receiving concrit - but you're absolutely right, the story typically ends up better, and it can help you improve as a writer! So it's something I should get over, at some point.

As for the flies: I'm thinking of getting a fly swatter so I can be like the guy in the hotel in the WC pilot - the guy at the desk? HE'S MY ROLE MODEL.

[secretsolitaire.livejournal.com]

as readers, what stories are hardest to leave feedback for? What do you do when you are confused by a story, or think that the author may have made a mistake? What do you WISH you could do?

Hardest to leave feedback for: stories that are well written but that make me uncomfortable due to my own personal preferences/kinks. That sort of comment is the equivalent of "It's not you, it's me!" and sometimes it just doesn't come across right. I am learning to just not comment at all in this situation.

If in fact it may be "it's not me, it's you!" (figurative you, of course, not hoosierbitch you), I've been known to PM the writer instead of leaving something public where other people might be influenced by my comment. (I read a fic a while back that featured lube-less anal sex for a man's first time bottoming, with no acknowledgment that this would probably hurt like hell for most people, so I PM'd the author about that one, to say that this sort of threw me out of the fic. She replied that lube throws her out of a fic, no matter whether it's necessary in RL. Heh.)

Anyway, as someone noted above, leaving concrit in a responsible fashion is pretty time-consuming because you have to take the time to articulate yourself in a polite/inoffensive way, plus surround it by positive feedback, etc. And it's just not worth doing it unless you really think the writing has promise otherwise. I tend not to do it much, if ever, anymore because of the time commitment (I currently have about 60 tabs open, argh -- I can barely read everything, much less comment coherently) and because you never know how someone will take criticism. The one exception is for the folks on my flist who are actively seeking feedback on their writing, which I'm happy to provide.

As for what I WISH I could do? Hee. I wish I could just say what I think, regardless of whether it's fair or kind.

"Jesus, this is some of the most sentimental crap I've ever read. It makes me want to vomit a little in my mouth."

"I don't think that sexual position is even possible unless you're a gymnast."

"OMG, Bones would NEVER DO THAT!"

"As a woman, six consecutive effortless orgasms never happens to me in bed. If it does for you, and this fic is based on personal experience, I'm going to have to hate you a little. D-:"

"I'm sorry, your bias is showing. Why don't you let the character you obviously adore make a mistake once in a while, instead of having every other character fawn all over him?"

But I do try to be civilized on the internet. :-P I am sure I've left some comments that didn't come across the way I meant them to though...it's a learning process.