suicide over breadsticks
May. 15th, 2011 10:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hoosierbitchSo, my uncle's here!
Ahaha.
I laugh because it's actually not funny at all.
*sigh*
Any story with Crazy Uncle starts off with some drama about his arrival. He's been on the train for four days, he broke his toe right before he left (tangled it in a microwave cord, fell over, broke the microwave and hit his head on a dresser), he didn't eat the entire trip, he has a wallet full of (alleged) phone numbers that everyone on the train gave him, and he arrived Saturday night at 7:30 instead of Friday at 7:15 or Saturday at 7pm, which is when he'd told various family members at different times that he'd be arriving. But, y'know, waiting at the Amtrak station is SO MUCH FUN, I totally didn't mind.
Yeah. So. My uncle. His folks threw him out of the house when he was 17 because he was gay, and his life's kind of gone downhill from there. Prison, living out of hotels, getting fired from strings of jobs for stealing/drinking/drug use, and homelessness. Woo. He's stayed with us off-and-on my entire life, because if it's a choice between than and a street corner my dad can't really say no (Crazy Uncle's my mom's brother). But he's stolen from us a few times, and left town with leases and car rentals hanging in the air which my family then has to pay for.
tl;dr - Not a perfect man.
I picked him up from the train station yesterday, after a bit of a trial in the lobby (they lost one of his bags, I had to practically drag him away from the baggage window because there's nothing they can do now). Then I took him out to dinner.
...I think my uncle's planning on committing suicide in two weeks.
Uh. So there's that.
He kept talking about how he made a decision, and aren't decisions great?, and how he feels really at peace now, and blah blah blah. He's done living in motels, he says.
"Great!" says I. "Then where are you going to live?" I asks.
"..."
And then he rambled for most of the meal very loudly about how no one visited him when he was in prison or that other time when he tried to commit suicide and was in the hospital for a while, and then the waittress would come up and he'd flirt very loudly, because he thinks it's charming and is also 3/4 deaf. And then he'd talk about how hard it is being the only gay person in the family (apparently I don't count), and how no one likes him because he's gay, especailly my father. My father who teaches Women's and Masculinity Studies. I'm sure my dad's dislike has NOTHING to do with the thousands of dollars he's lost thanks to my uncle. Apparently the fact that my father doesn't hug him means he hates him for being gay. Not that he has other, very valid reasons for disliking him.
I felt bad for the folks sitting at the table next to us. Their conversation died around the time my uncle started banging on the table going THEY ONLY LET IMMEDIATE FAMILY VISIT YOU IN FEDERAL PRISON! AT LEAST I'M NOT A RAPIST!
Which is better than someone yelling "I AM A RAPIST!" but I don't think by very much.
So. My folks will be home tomorrow. And despite the fact that Crazy Uncle asked me...four? Five? times not to tell my mother anything that he said, I'm going to give her the summary and let her deal with it. Because he was pretty firm on the two week deadline, and very clear about how he thinks his life is pathetic (it kind of is), and he doesn't want to live like this anymore.
But if he had a used car, EVERYTHING WOULD BE MAGICALLY BETTER.
Because he is crazy in the head. So. We'll see what happens in two weeks! I am off to Panera to eat a bagel and see what happens when I try to write. Um. Hopefully Uncle doesn't kill himself/burn the house down/drink all the booze/lose any of the dogs while I'm gone!
Ahaha.
I laugh because it's actually not funny at all.
*sigh*
Any story with Crazy Uncle starts off with some drama about his arrival. He's been on the train for four days, he broke his toe right before he left (tangled it in a microwave cord, fell over, broke the microwave and hit his head on a dresser), he didn't eat the entire trip, he has a wallet full of (alleged) phone numbers that everyone on the train gave him, and he arrived Saturday night at 7:30 instead of Friday at 7:15 or Saturday at 7pm, which is when he'd told various family members at different times that he'd be arriving. But, y'know, waiting at the Amtrak station is SO MUCH FUN, I totally didn't mind.
Yeah. So. My uncle. His folks threw him out of the house when he was 17 because he was gay, and his life's kind of gone downhill from there. Prison, living out of hotels, getting fired from strings of jobs for stealing/drinking/drug use, and homelessness. Woo. He's stayed with us off-and-on my entire life, because if it's a choice between than and a street corner my dad can't really say no (Crazy Uncle's my mom's brother). But he's stolen from us a few times, and left town with leases and car rentals hanging in the air which my family then has to pay for.
tl;dr - Not a perfect man.
I picked him up from the train station yesterday, after a bit of a trial in the lobby (they lost one of his bags, I had to practically drag him away from the baggage window because there's nothing they can do now). Then I took him out to dinner.
...I think my uncle's planning on committing suicide in two weeks.
Uh. So there's that.
He kept talking about how he made a decision, and aren't decisions great?, and how he feels really at peace now, and blah blah blah. He's done living in motels, he says.
"Great!" says I. "Then where are you going to live?" I asks.
"..."
And then he rambled for most of the meal very loudly about how no one visited him when he was in prison or that other time when he tried to commit suicide and was in the hospital for a while, and then the waittress would come up and he'd flirt very loudly, because he thinks it's charming and is also 3/4 deaf. And then he'd talk about how hard it is being the only gay person in the family (apparently I don't count), and how no one likes him because he's gay, especailly my father. My father who teaches Women's and Masculinity Studies. I'm sure my dad's dislike has NOTHING to do with the thousands of dollars he's lost thanks to my uncle. Apparently the fact that my father doesn't hug him means he hates him for being gay. Not that he has other, very valid reasons for disliking him.
I felt bad for the folks sitting at the table next to us. Their conversation died around the time my uncle started banging on the table going THEY ONLY LET IMMEDIATE FAMILY VISIT YOU IN FEDERAL PRISON! AT LEAST I'M NOT A RAPIST!
Which is better than someone yelling "I AM A RAPIST!" but I don't think by very much.
So. My folks will be home tomorrow. And despite the fact that Crazy Uncle asked me...four? Five? times not to tell my mother anything that he said, I'm going to give her the summary and let her deal with it. Because he was pretty firm on the two week deadline, and very clear about how he thinks his life is pathetic (it kind of is), and he doesn't want to live like this anymore.
But if he had a used car, EVERYTHING WOULD BE MAGICALLY BETTER.
Because he is crazy in the head. So. We'll see what happens in two weeks! I am off to Panera to eat a bagel and see what happens when I try to write. Um. Hopefully Uncle doesn't kill himself/burn the house down/drink all the booze/lose any of the dogs while I'm gone!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 03:50 pm (UTC)*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 05:33 pm (UTC)*hugs back*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 04:10 pm (UTC)I have a pretty different view on suicide than maybe most, which is it's that person's choice. It's their life; it's their body and soul. BUT if someone is making that choice when there are other clearer, better options that they can't see because of being whacked out, for whatever reason, then, well, it's not really a choice made with the consent of one's deepest self. It sucks beyond belief that YOU have to decide whether or not to tell someone. It sucks, sucks, sucks. But he hasn't really given you much of a choice. You have to do what will ease your own heart. AND VENT HERE ANY TIME!!!
I'm glad you're skipping out to Panera. I'm glad you're looking out for your own sanity.
{{{{{{{{{{{{B}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Just...ugh.
LU.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 05:35 pm (UTC)Yeah. I agree with the whole 'it's their choice' thing, and if I thought my uncle was in anything resembling a good frame of mind, I'd think over his rationale more seriously. But he's kind of really depressed.
I headed home from the Panera. Too worried about him. But I'm camped out on the couch with Doctor Who and various Five Acts lists, so hopefully that'll help!
♥
Thanks, sweetie!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 05:37 pm (UTC)And shit! I forgot to sign up. I wrote you one, though, didya get it, didya get it, didya get it?? :-D
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 05:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 05:36 pm (UTC)The hysterical laughter's a weird reaction - but it comes from an honest, caring place!
Thanks for the comment, bb. I really appreciate it.
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 06:45 pm (UTC)That is just scary. I have a close family member who sometimes says crazy shit like this and I can never tell whether it's simply them acting out/they're serious. You're doing the right thing by telling your mother.
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 06:55 pm (UTC)***HUGS*** If there's anything you need, don't hesitate. We all love you so much.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 07:10 pm (UTC)*hugs you muchly*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 07:50 pm (UTC)I wish I had some advice for you on crazy uncle, but there's just not much to do after a certain point. Some of that sounded painfully familiar *hugs* and some I can't even imagine *BIGGER HUGS*
If you can, I'd just resolve not to worry about Uncle. It's not as though there is much you can do. I know that's a tall order, though, so just do what you can and know that you've got a host of supportive friends. <3
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-15 11:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-16 03:16 am (UTC)I'm so sorry. Hope things turn out okay.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-17 03:25 am (UTC)I'm sorry that you had all of that dumped on you and then had to try to deal with everything going on! I hope that you can take a step back and let your mom deal with it though I know that's really hard, especially if you're going to live there too.
Good luck! Don't forget to lean on us if you need us!!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-17 10:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-05 05:48 am (UTC)I'm happy that your family is so generous to family members. Kind of wish I had similar options... lol
Just smile like you mean it and carry on, alright?